How to Feed Your Kids Now That They’re Home 24/7

Every day I log on to Instagram to see loaves of homemade sourdough and other ambitious culinary efforts, made by my childless friends. Me? I put my own starter in the oven, attempting to revive it with a feeding and the warmth from the pilot light, then turned on the oven to make dinner, melting the plastic container and torching the starter within.

我来你从旧金山apartme(小)nt, where my family of four, which includes my sons, ages 8 and 6, have been sheltering-in-place since March 13. In the pre-COVID era, I made my living as thelunch ladyat my boys’ school, and I also writecookbooks, as well as a weekly home cooking column forThe San Francisco Chronicle.

And while my professional qualifications might have you believing that I’ve adapted easily to cooking 84 meals (4 people x 3 meals x 7 days) a week,plus snacks, the reality is that this is really challenging. If I’m feeling overwhelmed, I can only imagine how others, unaccustomed to the rigors of cooking for kids every day, are faring. I want to help, so I made this list of things that are helping me manage the care and feeding of children during this strange, scary time.

Feed on Schedule

If my experience as a lunch lady has taught me anything, it is that feeding kids on a schedule is key to daily survival with a minimum of breakdowns. My kids are conditioned to receive morning and afternoon snacks, with breakfast before and lunch in between, and then an early dinner. I learned in our first week at home that maintaining this schedule helped keep my kids (whose routines and social lives have also been disrupted, I try to remember) even-keeled all day, and not constantly whining for snacks. Which brings me to my next point…

All-Day Eating

My kids want to eat constantly. If you have younger kids, you might be on the hook for providing and serving everything. But if you’ve got older kids (or even one older kid, who can help the younger sibling), let them get their own snacks. I’ve set up a “snack station” in a mixing bowl set near their “desk,” which also happens to be our dining room table. That way, my kids can choose their own healthy snacks during the day instead of driving me insane with their requests. The waystation has fruit and crackers and seaweed and cheese sticks (they eat those quickly enough that I don’t worry about the lack of refrigeration), and I replenish it as needed. They know they can help themselves from these snacks whenever they want; they have control not only of when they grab a snack, but also what they choose. And let’s be honest⁠—whether we’re big or small, we’re all wishing for a little control right now.

When it comes to meals, I’m always trying to think ahead. At lunch time, I’m prepping for dinner, or for lunch the following day. If I’m grating cheese for quesadillas, I might also grate some for themacaroni and cheeseI have planned later in the week. If I’m cookingricefor dinner, I cook twice as much as I need and freeze half, so I have it on hand for a speedy hot dog fried rice or a quick side.

Sometimes, presentation matters. Beholdthe power of the PuPu platter.

Photo by Chelsea Kyle, Food Styling by Simon Andrews, Prop Styling by Beatrice Chastka

Comfort First, Surprise Second, Surrender Third

So many of us normally work jobs with long hours and long commutes that have us racing in the door with takeout, or missing mealtime with our kids altogether. If there is a silver lining of this time, let it be this opportunity for togetherness at the table.

The food itself can be reassuring, so make sure you’re frequently serving some of the comforting things they love to eat—be it buttered noodles, ordumplings, ormeatballs, or white bread. But then surprise them, too, with “fun parent” moves, like servingpancakesfor dinner, or ice cream for breakfast, or buying a box of that junky cereal they’re always begging for. Surprises help deflect boredom. And when all else fails, surrender. A kid (or adult) that eats only bread or ramen noodles for the duration of this pandemic will be just fine;even the experts agree.

If you can turn cleanup into a game, you win.

Photo by Chelsea Kyle, Prop Styling by Nathaniel James, Food Styling by Simon Andrews

Cooking Projects You (and They) Won’t Hate

I wrote anarticle for this very site我有多讨厌做饭和我的孩子们。部t that was before we were living in quarantine. Now I try and think of kitchen projects I can do with my kids that will occupy a few hours of each day, while also producing food that we can actually all eat (I refuse to waste ingredients on “experiments” or food-as-art projects). Kids like to rub the butter into flour for biscuits or pie dough. Mine like to chop things with theirtiny knives. We makegranolatogether. We roll meatballs. We boil hot dogs.

Enlisting the kids means it’s going to be messier, and it’s likely to take longer, but if it’s time we’re spending anyway, at least it keeps them occupied. And even the most resistant kid will probably want to join you to make dessert, especially if you give them tastes along the way.

How to Combine Home Cooking and Home Schooling

There’s an opportunity here to combine the job of making your children one zillion meals and your new job as ad hoc teacher. To practice their writing and reading, ask kindergarten-age kids to write a daily menu, then read it to the rest of the family (this is something we do in the school kitchen). Teach older kids about yeast while you make a simple sandwich bread. Teach a fraction lesson, using a pizza or cake as a real-life, delicious illustration; if you only want a half-batch of cupcakes or muffins because you’ve been baking nonstop, have the kids do the division. Get teenagers to read through a whole recipe before preparing their ingredients and cooking it for or with you. (These executive functions will take them far in their cooking life.)

Got a little herb garden going? Time for ataste test.

Photo by Chelsea Kyle, Prop Styling by Beatrice Chastka, Food Styling by Olivia Mack Anderson

And if you don’t want to do the heavy lifting yourself, you can outsource to experts. Brooklyn-based brick-and-mortarThe Dynamite Shop, run by Dana Bowen and Sara Kate Gillingham, had to make a dramatic pivot in the wake of the pandemic, shifting from teaching in-person cooking lessons for kids to an entirely online experience that, happily, is now open to any kid eight or older, anywhere in the country. For around $30, kids will receive a shopping list and recipe, plus a live 1½ hour interactive cooking class, as well as a video featuring the instructor making the recipe that students can reference any time after the class. The lessons feature durable, easy, and adaptable recipes that kids can actually make themselves. Says Bowen, “Now more than ever there’s a need for helpful, enriching productive activities, and making dinner is one that you can entrust to your children. The kids are just so proud to contribute during this time when we all want to be doing something to help.”

I guess it’s true for me, too. I see people wondering how to feed their families, how to source the groceries, how to prepare them, and how to pay for them. It’s another challenge leveled at parents who already (and forgive me if I’ve projecting here) feel as though they’re being mightily challenged. I hope that some of the ideas above make things a little bit easier.

Here’s one more thing I’m trying to remember: There will be no award given for the number of homemade loaves of sourdough you made, the pounds of kimchi you fermented or the novel innovations you dreamt up in the service of getting your kids to eat a goddamn vegetable. If you need permission to, in the words of my son, “Do your best and don’t worry about the rest,” let this be your permission. When we get through this (and we will get through this), may some of the legacies of this challenging time be a renewed connection to family dinner, a greater appreciation for the cooks and delivery people who make it so we don’talwayshave to prepare it, and a kid who can scramble their own eggs and make their own cheese sandwiches.