Christmas confession: I am not a baker.
It's not for moral reasons. It's just in my makeup. The stand mixer doesn't interest me (except formaybe this one). Waiting for dough to rise—or, worse, a cake to cool—makes me impatient.
I still love sweets, of course. They’re just more of a spectator sport for me. That makes the Christmas cookie plate my Olympics. And if there's one underdog in the holiday dessert Olympics, it's the peppermint bark.
Yeah, you probably didn’t notice it. Too often, peppermint bark lurks in the cookie plate's corners, the token concession for the party's chocoholics.
I understand the hate. One of bark's primary ingredients is white chocolate, the one confection that can divide rooms and split families. And a fancy 1-pound tin can fetch $20—and who knows how long that's been on the shelf?
But for non-bakers like me, peppermint bark is a savior. There's no baking. There’s no folding. It looks pretty, like slab of textured marble. You can even ditch the white chocolate, if you want to. And did I mention it doesn't require baking?
If you can set up a double boiler, you can make peppermint bark. And if you can’t, I’ll tell you how: Bring a small stockpot of water to a simmer. Place a metal bowl on top so that it fits snug. That's it. Now you’re ready to add and melt chopped chocolate without worrying about the uneven melting and tacky texture you get with the microwave.
Bag up the bark and give it to friends, or crush it up and stir into cookie batter. Thirsty? Break it up into a mug and pour over hot milk for a minty hot chocolate. Add an ounce or so of Irish cream, and you've just made the ultimate three-ingredient holiday cocktail from the ultimate three-ingredient holiday treat.
And neither involved any baking.
