I can't stand mayo. To be clear, it's not an egg aversion. I like eggs—arunny yolkis God's gift to breakfast—and yes, I also likeoil—as a means ofmaking things crispy. I've tried mayonnaise on many occasions and in many forms. I understand its appeal as afood glue. And I hate it.
It's reassuring to see that I'm in good company (as usual, Barack Obama ison my side), as mayonnaisedisdainis more common than you'd think. Everyone's got their reasons—it remindsJimmy Fallonof pus (ew),othersfind it too mysterious to appreciate, and me? Well, let me lay it out for you.
Face it—mayo tastes like nothingness
This is an inarguable fact.[Editor's note: That is false.]Store-bought mayonnaise has about as much flavor as canola oil, because that's pretty much all it is. It's got none of the rich, salty complexity ofan egg yolk,which is damn goodas a sauce. Mayo somehow manages to take everything exciting and lovable about those yolks and turn them into blubbery, flavorless nothingness.
It's got no redeeming health qualities
Sometimes we eat things that we don't love because we know they're good for us, and sometimes we ignore our bodies and modern science in the name of tastiness. Listen, if mayonnaise were delicious, I'd be totally down to drownpotatoesin it, slather iton toast, and eat itwith a spoon. But, per my above point, it ain't. If I'm going to consume straight-up fat, it's going to be butter, stinky cheese, or anything that actually has flavor.
Shelf-stable eggs should not be a thing
Is this weird to anyone else? I understand that mayo is safe and pasteurized and totally legit to keep sealed at room temperature. Trust me, I get that. But it's mayo's weird, dairy-like consistency, and the sight of big clear jars of it sitting on shelves for who-knows-how-long that really makes my skin crawl.
Aioli, on the other hand...
Aiolican hang. And I'm not just saying that because it has a fancy name. I recognize that althoughtraditionalaioli is simply an emulsion of oil and garlic, the versions we often see in restaurants are pretty much just mayonnaise dolled up with tasty ingredients, likeherbs,peppers, andspices.
But unlike store-bought mayo, garlicky aioli actually serves a purpose (e.g. as a fry-dipping sauce, for lending something besides gloopiness to sandwiches, etc). It adds a dairy-like textural element, sure, but more importantly, it adds another layer of flavor to boot.
So, yeah, I'd eat a spoonful ofdonkey saucebefore going near a dollop of mayo. Fight me.
While I would sooner die than dip crudité in store-bought mayonnaise, I'm definitely down for this aioli-centric spread.
Editor's note: We're pretty sure this recipe for homemade, spicy Sriracha mayo will turn Becky around:
